The Best Managers Care and Challenge: What I’ve Learned from Thousands of Candidates
I’m Adam Morris, and as the owner of SalesFirst Recruiting I have had the privilege of interviewing thousands of candidates over the past 12 years. One of the questions I always ask them is: Who was your favorite manager and why?
The answers were all but unanimous. Candidates almost always chose a leader that both cared about them and pushed them.
I want to share what I’ve learned from these candidates about the qualities of a good manager and how you can apply them to your own leadership style. Caring and challenging are two sides of the same coin, but they are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
What does it mean to care? And… do managers need to be perfect?
A good leader cares about their employees as individuals, not just as workers. They show genuine interest in their personal and professional goals, their well-being, and their feedback. You might expect that these leaders also created inclusive and positive work environments where everyone felt valued and respected, but actually… my candidates rarely brought that up. In fact, not once has a candidate ever told me they had a perfect manager.
Humans- whether they are leaders or not- have bad days, get frustrated, forget to do things, and make mistakes. Those aren’t signs of weakness or incompetence, but instead they are signs of learning and growth. Managers who acknowledge their humanity and show vulnerability tend to build trust and empathy with their teams. They model resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges. And it seems that flaws make leaders more approachable and trustworthy.
Leaders don't need to be perfect; from all the candidates I’ve interviewed over the years, leaders are more effective and inspiring when they are flawed. And genuine leaders are far better at providing a relatable example of how to overcome obstacles.
What does it mean to challenge? What does it not mean?
I’ve always enjoyed the stories that my candidates shared with me about their favorite leaders. They all told me how these leaders inspired them, challenged them, and supported them to achieve more than they thought possible.
They described how these leaders gave them clear goals, constructive feedback, and recognition for their efforts. These stories made me realize how much impact a great leader can have on their team’s performance and satisfaction. I aspire to be such a leader myself.
Why is caring and challenging important?
Here’s one personal story I want to share. I’ve been incredibly fortunate in my career to have outstanding mentors. One in particular, however, really showed me what I was capable of becoming. Shelley Davis was the mid-market Sales Manager for T-Mobile in Seattle who hired me in 2005. It’s hard to rank all the leaders who have helped me but Shelley is right at the top. What’s interesting about Shelley is that so many of us on the team had a deep love for her. We also fought with her constantly. Our Seattle team was a top 5 market in the nation competing against far bigger markets such as LA, New York, and Chicago. The reason for our outsized performance was Shelley. She simply did not accept any effort outside of our very best. And on the months where I just barely squeaked out quota and was thankful to get paperwork in by the 31st at 4:59pm, Shelley would yell at me and accuse me of being happy with the minimum.
One day toward the end of 2005, Shelley pulled me aside and told me that with my talent, if I didn’t hit Winner’s Circle in 2006 I was a loser. Yes. A loser. She was all over me that year, and I ended up reaching #21 in the nation - out of roughly 450 reps. She showed me I could compete with the best. I hated it. I also loved it.
Shelley also babysat my kids (later in life), regularly invited my wife and I to her to house for dinner, confided in me about important things, and showed me was a real human. She also fought countless battles on my behalf and helped to get my deals over the line. She didn’t always do it with a smile. She gave lots of tough love and we had our own battles because of that. But Shelley was quick to resolve issues with a lunch or a hug.
That particular Seattle team at T-Mobile felt like one of a kind. We had trust, communication, competition, and a leader pushing us HARD. And Shelley never even attempted to be a perfect leader. She was very content to be her normal self- imperfections at all. And to this day, most of us keep in touch with her.
Conclusion
It’s not easy to motivate employees to give their best effort, especially in 2023. The world has changed a lot in the past few years, and so have the expectations and needs of the workforce. Employees today are more diverse, more remote, more tech-savvy, and more aware of their options. They are also more stressed, more burned out, more distracted, and more skeptical of authority.
So if you want to be a leader that one day my candidates would cite as their favorite, the secret is to be human, genuinely care, and inspire your team members to exceed their own expectations. Managers who care & challenge their employees foster trust, empathy, and satisfaction. But really…. you have to truly want your people to be at their best and you’ve got to push them even when they don’t like it.
If you want sales performance, however; You also need to have the right team. That’s where we come in. SalesFirst Recruiting is a leading sales recruitment agency in the U.S. We can help you find and hire the best sales talent for your business. Contact us today and let us help you transform your sales leadership and performance.
