Navigating the Family Dynamics at Work: 5 Steps to Success
Adam Morris here- the CEO of SalesFirst Recruiting. I get a lot comments and questions about working with family members. Some ask me if it’s hard to do. Others tell me they wished they could work with their sibling. I’m truly lucky to have my brother Dan Morris serving as the President of our company, but it wasn’t always perfect. It’s taken a lot of hard work and lessons learned to get to this point of mutual respect and professionalism.
I’ve personally only worked with one family member ever, but I’ve seen dynamics play out in different ways across my extended family and friend groups. While the bond of kinship brings closeness and trust, it also introduces unique dynamics that can impact professional relationships. Whether you're launching a family-owned business or collaborating with relatives within a larger organization, establishing clear boundaries and communication channels is essential for success. Here are five things I’ve learned to help navigate the intricacies of working with my brother.
Establish Clear Rules and Boundaries
Before diving into business together, outline expectations and rules to govern your professional interactions. Define decision-making processes, establish who holds authority in certain situations, and maybe even designate a neutral party to serve as a tiebreaker if conflicts arise. Clarifying these guidelines upfront helps mitigate misunderstandings and fosters a sense of fairness within the family business. Dan, for example, fully runs the operations of our Denver office. I can only influence his decisions there. The opposite is true for Portland and Phoenix. Additionally, we have different rules in place for national branding discussions and for making financial decisions as well. Before we even get close to a disagreement, we both know who’s gets to win, which is precisely why we never fight about such things. It forces us to approach the other as a consultant and steward of the company.
Discuss Work-Life Balance
It's essential to engage not only in professional interactions but also to demonstrate genuine interest in each other's personal lives and well-being. Establishing protocols for significant life events such as vacations, family emergencies, or childcare needs can contribute significantly to fostering a supportive and understanding work environment. When Dan and I outlined procedures for handling these situations with empathy and flexibility, we helped ensure that family dynamics positively influenced our workplace culture.
When a valued employee requests time off for a skiing trip, it's relatively easy to support their decision and congratulate them for prioritizing self-care. However, when a family member makes a similar request, it can be more challenging to maintain the same level of support without allowing resentment to creep in. Therefore, mirroring the professionalism, fairness, and harmony commonly practiced among non-family members in the workplace is crucial to maintaining a healthy balance.
Keep Work Talk Separate from Personal Time
Talk to any couple who owns a business together, and they’ll tell you that maintaining a healthy work-life balance is key to preserving family harmony. Make a conscious effort to compartmentalize work discussions and reserve them for designated times and settings. This is easier said than done, but avoid bringing work-related stress or conflicts into family gatherings or leisure activities. By creating boundaries between professional and personal spheres, you can safeguard the integrity of your familial relationships.
Implement “Communication Signals”
This is one that Dan and I are proud of, because effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful partnership. To streamline communication between family members in a work context, consider implementing signaling systems to differentiate between personal and professional conversations. For example, when Dan uses Facetime to call me, I can be pretty sure i’m about to see my neices doing something ridiculous. And when he reaches out via Zoom or Teams, I can be sure he’s calling for work-related discussions. So if I’m out walking the dog and I see him calling, I can decide if I want to talk to work Dan or brother Dan!
Separate Personal Baggage from Professional Matters
One of the greatest challenges of working with family is avoiding the temptation to let personal grievances or family dynamics influence professional decisions. Resisting the urge to assign intent or make assumptions based on past experiences takes practice. This is why Dan and I have consciously chosen to avoid using absolute terms like "always" or "never" when communicating with each other. While these words can sometimes sneak into our conversations, we recognize their potential to create tension and misunderstandings. We certainly don’t approach our Recruiting Managers and accuse them of “always” doing something or “never” paying attention to something. That’s would be totally inappropiate for a leader to say to another professional, and so we’ve agreed that we won’t pierce that vail either.
Conclusion
If you plan on starting a business with a family member or even a friend, i recommend the book “The Partnership Charter.” It made a big difference for me!
